It’s been a few years since I’ve written a movie review, beyond making a quick social media comment. This movie is worth a proper discussion.
‘Single All the Way’ is currently available on Netflix, and is the feel good Christmas movie that you shouldn’t miss.
Like many of the movies I’ve watched lately, I think it’s marketing has been woefully inadequate. Or perhaps they knew word of mouth would spread the news?
If you are anything like me, you will need a box of tissues for this movie. And maybe a friend to exclaim with.
You will cringe. You will laugh. You will cry. You will say “Awww!” quite a bit.
This is a movie representing Gay people as people living lives, not just as teens anguished about coming out. There has been a need for greater representation across the entertainment industry, for LGBTIQ+ people, as well as every other minority. Here is one movie making a dent in that need for representation, and doing it beautifully as a Gay Christmas Miracle Fairytale.
(I checked some online commentary, to see if my reaction is similar to the LGBTIQ+ community, and it seems to be. Whew!)
There are things for most people to relate to on some level, and there are wildly outlandish antics to save the movie from being too confrontingly, seriously “real”. This is a rom com romp. Fun for all the family, assuming your family is mature enough to cope with the concept of love between people. And there is so much love. Familial love, intergenerational love. Friendships. Love all around.
This is a ‘Christmas Miracle’ story. The Gays finally have their “dreams can come true” story. I think the expressions on the faces in the end scene are probably genuine, for that reason.
I won’t claim that this is Oscar-winning stuff, although the acting performances of the main characters were superb. Particularly poingnant were Michael Urie and Philemon Chambers as the main characters Peter and Nick, as well as Peter’s parents, played by Kathy Najimy and Barry Bostwick, and Peter’s new love interest played by Luke Macfarlane (loved him in Killjoys!).
Wouldn’t the world be an amazing place if everyone were as loving and mature as these characters?
Perhaps a couple of the characters were overdone: the deluded stage aunt is a little horrifying to me, but she fills out the family story of love and acceptance. The teen girls seem a bit contrived at the beginning, but get better.
The family home is decorated with signs. I totally relate to Carole, Peter’s mother, who makes and gifts these. One of the signs says:
Relax! We’re all crazy.
It’s not a competition.”
This perfectly sums up the large, closely connected family central to the story.
Mind you, this is also the mother who insists on being called “Christmas Carole” (“holiday specific Drag name”) for the month of December, and who we first meet standing next to a sign reading “Sleigh Queen”.
There are so many clever devices throughout the movie, adding depth and complexity.
The Christmas countdown calendar is one, reaching “1 day to prove you are Nice” as events are coming to a head.
The crazy aunt torturing children with a stage play for her to star in is not just a side quest, and an opportunity for Nick and Peter to show how well they work together. Listen to that dialogue!
The journey is not linear. There are sidesteps and mis-steps, making this a more believable, human story.
In places, the storyline was a little contrived and the pace of the movie was perhaps a little uneven, but the convoluted storylines and emotions involved in the various family situations all shone through to culminate in the Christmas Miracle of everyone being happy.
By the end of the movie, the title, ‘Single All The Way’ is more than a cute reference to the OTT (over the top) insanity of ‘Jingle All the Way‘. Peter and Nick have been single this whole time. Haven’t they?
Watch the Trailer for ‘Single All the Way’ here, and watch the whole movie on Netflix.
Postscript:
Were you wondering about the “why does that guy look familiar” bit? Me too!
Turns out that the singer in the pub is Kathy Najimy’s real life husband Dan Finnerty, who is a singer as well as an actor and producer.
That’s right! During November/ December I attended 3: the Deloraine Craft Fair, Maker’s Nest in Hobart, (click links for those posts) and now Launceston’s “Tassie Makers and Creators Christmas Festival”. I’m writing them up in reverse order because, well, life is busy!
I don’t think I’ve been to so many Craft Fairs/Markets in the space of a month in my life!
I couldn’t miss the one in my home town, especially as I’d travelled for the others.
I feel like I should mention at this point that I’m not paid to go to, photograph or write about these, it’s just that I love handcrafts. I dabble in a few myself, having been taught by my grandmothers, and studied woodwork and metalwork in high school, as well as art. My current favourite is quilting.
I did go along to this expecting to feel a bit bored, after all the amazing crafts I had recently seen.
As is often the case, I was wrong!
This was a relatively small market (compared to the behemoth that is the Deloraine Craft Fair), at the Launceston Conference Centre. It was organised by Launceston’s very community-minded Christian Radio station: Way FM. (Not to be confused in any way with Canberra’s 1Way FM.) Consequently, the atmosphere was calm and friendly, many of the stall holders chatting to each other between customers.
Every Makers Market is different, even when some of the stall holders attend more than one. There were also different crafts. Tasmanians are clearly full of creativity! These were the highlights for me, which I ma sharing so that you can enjoy them too.
Fabric Crafts
There were many stalls offering fabric crafts: clothes, toys etc. One stall was selling adorable fabric platypii. (Multiple platypus) I had made similar platypii out of flannelette in 2014, for the many toddlers and babies in our family at that time, stitching their name on each one. I had made my own pattern, and I don’t remember why I decided on a platypus, perhaps because I wanted them to be unique/ memorable, and it’s an Australian animal. The parents of the recipients had no idea how many hours they took, but I hope they were loved. I very nearly took a photo to send them, captioning it “Look, someone is selling these now!”, but didn’t.
These were some of mine:
Platypus toys made by me from old flannelette pyjamas and hand-stitched. Reusing fabric is one way to make the world more sustainable.
Why don’t I photograph the Fabric craft and other people’s Photos?
The main reason that I don’t take photos of others’ photography & fabric items is that it’s relatively simple for someone to reproduce it from a photo, and I know how hard it is to make the original. This is also why I almost always ask the stallholder if I can take photos and share them, apart from just being polite. Sometimes it’s not possible, eg the stallholder has too many customers to interrupt them, or they are on a break and I don’t find them later.
I like giving publicity to the amazing things I see – everyone should have an opportunity to share the fabulousness! If it gets the Maker more business: great! – but at the same time, I know there are plenty of people on the internet who would copy without any qualms. So: I am careful.
Photography
There were a couple of highly skilled photographers, effortlessly demonstrating to me the difference between the breathtaking professionalism of their photos and my amateurish attempts. Yet they were both encouraging to talk to.
Liam Preece Photography had some breathtaking artwork to hang as a focal point for any room. Hang a few and have a gallery. Some of them almost seemed 3D, as though you could reach through the frame and touch the landscape. Just amazing. Check out his website.
Jamie Mackrill of Culture of Creatives had photos as well as ceramic coasters, some with photos, and some with beautiful glazed patterns.
Jamie and just some of his work. (The white dots are to protect the privacy of people accidentally in the photo.)
He was just delightful to talk to, and we chatted about his travels taking photos, some of which are of overseas landscapes. He recently started using a drone to take beautiful aerial photos of beaches, that make me want to jump in the water.
I’ve since discovered that his website includes interviews with creative people around the world successfully making a living from their work. If you like reading about real people’s experiences,(plus great photos to look at) have a look!
One stall was held by a pair of very enterprising young brothers, with their dad reading a book nearby. They had made jewellery and items from polished stones. They also had some marketing skills! They politely called out to me until they had my attention, as I had glanced, probably nodded and raised my eyebrows in approval, and kept walking. Once I had stopped and said hello, they were quick to develop rapport, with the confidence of much older people, which was quite astonishing in a couple of boys probably still in Primary (Elementary) School. They asked me what my favourite colour was, then directed me to stones they thought might suit me. They were actually quite spot on, but I already have two stone necklaces (one is an obsidian arrowhead, which fans of “A Song of Ice and Fire” will appreciate) and I don’t change my jewellery often enough to need more. The boys are hoping to make enough sales to buy their own rock polisher and expand their business. You might like one of their creations.
These stone necklaces reminded me of Melissa Camilleri Anicich’s project where she made jewelery for her students, with encouraging words attached, and it became a business: Compliment Inc.
Plants as Pets
There were several stalls selling plants and plant paraphernalia. The most unusual of these were the Fuzzles! These are a small terrarium that grows into a ball of moss, carefully created by Angela Zuj of Witchwood.
Fuzzles come with Adoption Certificates, created by AngelaA Fuzzle with a topknot, waiting for it’s “fur” to grow in.A range of Fuzzle environmentsA Fuzzle in all its glory, from @Witchwood2239a on Instagram
There are multiple styles in two types: the open ones you can lavish with the love of watering. So much fun to watch the Fuzzle grow from your care.
The sealed units are their own ecosystem requiring no human intervention. Perfect for people who like to grow living things, but can’t remember to water them, and also for those who travel.
I don’t drink wine but know plenty of people who do, so I found Flat Out Bottles to be functional, elegant and an excellent use of wine bottles. The designs are pressed into the heated glass using a mould. What a great recycling idea and beautiful, practical gift at the same time!
Servingware with built in handles and an easy to clean surface Flat Out Bottles
Goat Milk Soap
I have sensitive skin and a love of animals and cuteness, so Catherine’s Goat Milk Soap was one of my favourites.
I bought a cute sheep soap, but it’s too adorable to use, so I can’t yet tell you how marvellous it is on my skin. You can email Catherine at powerofme@live.com.au.
Macrame
I’ve seen a lot of macrame in the last year or so. It seems to have made a comeback, after hibernating since the 1980’s. At most stalls I have seen rainbows. This stall had things which are different.
El Macrame is two sisters creating beautiful macrame. They started macrame to decorate their home, and then had to find something to do with all the things they were creating. Now we get to see (and own) their meticulously created artwork.
A Snowflake for the treeThe Makers of El MacrameGorgeous “feathers” wallhanging
Laser Engraved Wood
This was a popular genre this year, with stalls at all the Makers events I went to.
In Launceston, Sharee Brown’s “Laser Stuff Tasmania” has some beautiful laser-burned art on functional wooden pieces. These photos are just a small selection. You can email her at shareemelinda@gmail.com
Next?
I don’t expect that I will go to any more Maker’s Markets in the near future. I had been waiting to go to the Deloraine Craft Fair, as a special thing I had loved many years ago, where I bought unique items I still use. Makers Nest (Hobart) and the Launceston Makers and Creators Festival were bonuses! What wonderful bonuses they were too.
Then again, by the time I see the next one advertised, I will probably think: “Ooh! Gotta go to that!”
If you enjoy handcrafts, I hope that you can find a Market near you to (safely) attend. If not, there are the links in these posts to check out.
I’d love to hear about about your favourite craft in the comments.
As Christmas approaches, I have been remembering this time fondly. You might like to try something similar yourself.
I posted this to a different blog in 2018, and have edited it slightly today. Sadly, some of the photos lost quality in the transfer.
I challenged myself to cook as many new recipes as I could during the Christmas-New Year holiday period 2018, without going shopping…or at least, with minimal shopping!
To be honest, this wasn’t a huge challenge because I’d stocked my fridge, freezer and pantry ahead of time, so I started with 3 dozen eggs, 1.5kg of butter, about 6kg of flour, all the sugars and spices etc. I even had extra fresh vegetables, fruit and herbs, and two hams. We did run out of milk & salad greens.
Part of the reason for this challenge is that I collect recipes all year, but am often too rushed/busy with other priorities to get around to making something new and unfamiliar. I love to eat good food, and I love preparing it, so this was a labour of love.
Another part of the reason for this challenge is that I hate waste, and using up every possible thing is good! I like to save money, and in the current world situation it’s good to be responsible with resources.
The recipes were ones I’d ripped from free magazines (at home), plus some from cookbooks and ones I looked up online. Some were because I was interested in making it/ it seemed yummy, and some were to use up leftovers.
Also, we’ll be moving house soon, so using up some of my stockpiles and getting rid of recipes not worth keeping is part of my preparation.
We’ve been eating like kings! (Or, like I imagine rich people may eat.)
I also made some regular favourites like potato salad, cheesy garlic bread, and similarly unremarkable things. Other things I made up “on the fly” and didn’t bother recording. Like this morning’s croissant with smoked salmon cream-cheese spread. (I did mention that I’d stocked up!)
It only occurred to me today to blog about it, so not everything is included, and I don’t have photos of everything. It goes without saying that we ate leftovers too!
Here are some of the things I came up with:
I made shortbread, cut it out with a flower cutter and stamped the centres with a “Merry Christmas” stamp, making them look like daisies. If I do it again, I might use a more robust biscuit mixture (like “kiss biscuits”), as shortbread is a bit fragile for so much rolling and cutting. Sadly, I have no photos for you.
Baked Glazed Ham
On Christmas Day I’d baked a glazed ham for lunch. Yum!
My ham glaze is homemade orange marmalade, brown sugar, curry powder, ground ginger & lime juice, plus a few cloves inserted into the scored ham. (Last time, I used too many cloves, going for “well-presented”, this year I got the flavour right!) There are lots of other recipes on the internet, including instructions on how to prepare the ham to glaze. Here’s one.
There was some ham glaze (and melted fat) left in the bottom of the pan. I added some water to this, and added chopped pumpkin and sweet potato. I baked these at about 160C for an hour or so that afternoon, and we had them for dinner. I’m wishing I’d thrown in some ordinary potatoes too, but probably these were a better pairing with the sweetness & cloves anyway.
I put the rest of the peeled, chopped sweet potato and pumpkin into a plastic container of water with a lid, and refrigerated it for later.
Sweet Potato Fries
Remember that sweet potato sitting in water in the fridge? A few days later I turned it into sweet potato fries, admittedly smaller than the recipe, so I watched the cooking time. I dried the sweet potato between paper towel before tossing in olive oil. I made the spice mix in a spare shaker I have, and made a double mix, so I have some for later/next time.
Salads
My potato salad dressing is pretty standard: half mayonnaise, half Greek yoghurt, plus a dash of lemon juice, a sprinkle of ground black pepper and a handful of chopped mint. Toss this through some chopped cooked new potatoes and you’re part-way to a meal.
My green salads are similarly basic: I often buy the premixed bags of leaves from the supermarket. With the potato salad, I often don’t dress the green salad, but if I’m serving it alone (maybe with some sliced cucumber and tomato, maybe olives) I might add an “Italian Dressing”/ Vinaigrette of: half a cup each of olive oil & vinegar, dash of salt and pepper, oregano, basil & a spoon of crushed/minced garlic, all shaken together in a jar. (With the lid on, it keeps well in the fridge. You might need to heat it if the oil solidifies in the cold.)
These salads go well with any meat you want to BBQ, or any leftover ham, turkey, chicken etc.
If you like, add some pinenuts or slivered almonds, snow peas etc. if you want more crunch.
Smoked Salmon Wraps
I buy the “pieces for cooking” which are cheaper, and no-one in my household is going to look at how prettily it’s sliced. Spread a wrap/tortilla/flatbread with cream cheese (or mayonnaise or Greek yoghurt), add a few salmon pieces and salad greens/ whatever vegetables you prefer, and roll it up. Depending on who you’re serving it to, you might cut each one in half. Lunch is served!
On to the more interesting recipes!
Black Forest Cake
A slice of Black Forest Cake, only slightly nibbled!
I’d cooked a Black Forest Cake earlier, using the Australian Women’s Weekly recipe, but since it’s such a HUGE cake, had frozen half of it unfilled. I sliced it into 3 layers with a bread knife while still frozen, and filled it with homemade cherry syrup (juice from a jar of cherries plus sugar, boiled to a syrup) instead of Kirsch, whipped cream and cherries from a jar.
(NB In Australia a biscuit is a “cookie” not a scone)
These are what’s left so far:
I just squashed the balls of mixture with my hand, and made them all fit on a large baking tray, but they could have been rolled flatter, maybe even rolled out and cut with a cutter, and baked in batches for a thinner, crisper biscuit.
These biscuits have a creamy texture, like a savoury shortbread, so you’ll need a drink of water, or whatever you prefer, to go with them. Although they contain Parmesan cheese already, they’re nice with a slice of cheese on top. They’re great with an antipasto platter.
I made 2 ready-rolled pastry sheets of this Vegetable Galette for dinner, and all that’s left is one slice!
I forgot the onion – oops! I also left off the stock powder, used pureed tinned tomatoes for the passata, added fresh chilli & rosemary, & dried basil. I’m unclear if that makes it an adaptation or a whole new recipe, but it was delicious!
One of my children refuses to eat sweet potato, but I guess they couldn’t tell that’s what was on it!
Choc-Cherry Blondie
This looks fabulous, but was kind of meh, unfortunately. My kids loved it, but it just seemed a bit non-descript to me, considering the huge quantity of chocolate it contains. It was, however, a great way to use fresh cherries, besides just eating them!
Choc-Cherry Blondie
I can’t find where I got the recipe from, very likely a supermarket magazine or free local magazine, so I can’t link it, but here’s the pasted copy. There are similar recipes online.
Something I wanted to make to use up leftover ham was “Ham and Cheese Tatties” (rissoles of potato, ham and cheese, maybe like rosti?), but I lost the recipe! I eventually found Jamie Oliver’s version of Tatties.
I adapted it to include the ham I wanted to use up, and cheese, just because it goes with ham 🙂
My version of Ham and Cheese Tatties:
3 potatoes (approx 250g)
approx 25g butter plus more for frying
50g plain flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1-2 tablespoons milk
3/4 cup finely diced ham
3/4 cup grated cheese
pinch of salt & shake of pepper
I boiled the potatoes and mashed them with butter, then added a tablespoon or so of milk, a dash of pepper and a pinch of salt, mixed it all together with the flour and baking powder to form a dough, and mixed through the ham and cheese. I divided the dough into two balls, flattened each one on a cutting board and sliced it like pizza. I shallow-fried these pieces in butter, et voila!
The mixture made 12 wedges of what is similar to hash browns or bubble & squeak.
Delicious! I served them with salad (after a quick trip to the shops, but I’m counting that as allowed), including tomato to offset the butter.
Fresh Berries and Icecream
Dessert was simple shop-bought vanilla icecream with fresh berries, cherries and mint.
(Yes, I probably SHOULD pay more attention to presentation/styling, but I’m on holidays!)
Cheap Vanilla Custard
A while ago, I bought an instant pudding mix out of curiosity. As it happened, I had about 2L of milk about to expire, and was thinking of ways to use it up. I spotted this in the cupboard. In the sweltering heat we’ve been having (Summer, with 30C+ days and evenings) , this was great: no cooking = not increasing the temperature in the house!
It’s obviously not as nice as a homemade baked custard or panne cotta etc, but it’s set vanilla custard for about $1, and it used up 750mL of milk.
In what some may call a “God moment”, serendipitous, or just a nice coincidence, on my quick trip to the supermarket I spotted cannoli shells on special. Two birds, one stone! Vanilla custard-filled Cannoli. A nice improvement on the plain pudding.
Canoli added to the Vanilla Custard – I’m sure it’s usually the other way around!
Mango Cheesecake
It took a while for me to decide which Mango Cheesecake recipe to use, but I eventually went with this one.
If I make it again, I might make an edge of cheesecake all the way up to keep the mango contained, as it’s a bit oozy with the top layer of cheesecake pressing the mango out the sides.
It’s delicious though!
(Update: the second day it actually tastes even better. On the first day it tasted like fresh mango served with creamy cheesecake. On the second day the flavours have blended for a more subtle mango flavour and a richer cheesecake flavour. Perfect!)
It’s also relatively low in sugar, with only half a cup of white sugar in it, no sweetened, condensed milk or chocolate, which other recipes have.
Mango and Ginger Ale Icy Poles
I found some recipes for icy-poles/ popsicles, and adapted one, making these from just mango pulp & dry ginger ale. The result tastes like slightly less intense mango.
On a side note: I think it’s been about 10 years since I used this icy-pole mould. I nearly threw it out several times. I’m glad I didn’t!
There’s a couple of days left of my cooking adventure. I’m planning to make a pumpkin pie (leftover pumpkin). I’m still deciding on which recipe to use though, as there are so many variations!
I’ll update the post when I’ve made it. (Sadly, it looks like I forgot to do this.)
Feel free to comment recipes for other things you think I should cook. Perhaps I’ll make a future post of recipes that were recommended?
Thanks for sharing my adventure! I’d love to see what you’ve made during these or other holidays, too 🙂
Even when it’s “Positive”, Religious Discrimination is a bad thing. Australia’s proposed Religious Discrimination Bill (2019) is a gateway to unconscionable behaviours best left in 1930’s Germany, not Australia in the 2030’s.
To explain what I’m talking about, let me first define some terms and provide some background information:
Positive Discrimination measures aim to “level the playing field”. They aim at equity for disadvantaged people.
Religious Freedom for most people means being able to choose and practice one’s own religion, without having another religion forced on you.
Positive discrimination strategies include quotas for minorities, such as women, Indigenous peoples and members of ethnic minority groups. This is because increased representation can reduce disadvantage. Positive discrimination may be individual working conditions, or reasonable adjustments for people with injuries or impairments, for example.
In the case of Australia’s Religious Discrimination Bill, it is a pretence of positive discrimination where none is needed. Australians already have the freedom to practice their religion, while also complying with the legalities of non-discrimination, anti-harassment, and various Laws and conventions about Human Rights.
This new Bill would give people the “freedoms” to implement their religion in ways that negatively affect other people. It would allow some people to impose their religious beliefs onto other people.
What this Bill actually does is provide freedom to hate other people. To impose your religion and way of life on other people, and for other people to impose theirs on you.
It would provide a literal “get out of jail free” card to people who performed, or refused to perform, an action on the basis of their religious belief. The Legislation has been drafted to override, for example Workplace contracts and Codes of Conduct. What is currently a crime (eg. hate speech, incitement to violence) would be perfectly acceptable if the person could claim their religion as the basis for this.
I am one of the nearly 150,000 Australians who have signed Emma Linton’s petition (Change.org/StopHandmaidsTaleBill), opposing the proposed Religious Discrimination Bill.
All Australians deserve to live free from discrimination for any reason. Instead, this Bill is creating protection for unconscionable bigoted, discriminatory and hateful behaviour in workplaces, in public, in every facet of life, including health care.
If this Bill and related amendments are passed, “religious freedom” would overrule previously existing protections.
It seems to me that this Bill would provide protection for an Islamic terrorist to claim their mass murder was perfectly justified by their religious beliefs.
It seems that adulterers could be publicly stoned again, because of “religious belief”.
There are a lot of people with strangely twisted ideas about what their religion requires or allows. This Bill would give them permission to act out atrocities.
This is not a new issue:
“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.”
Thomas Paine (1737-1809)
“Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by a difference in sentiments of religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought to be deprecated.
I was in hopes that the enlightened and liberal policy, which has marked the present age, would at least have reconciled Christians of every denomination so far that we should never again see the religious disputes carried to such a pitch as to endanger the peace of society.”
George Washington (1732-1799)
“Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.”
Adolf Hitler (1889-1945)
“Religion without humanity is very poor human stuff.”
Sojourner Truth (1797-1883)
“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.”
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
If this Bill passes, I have serious concerns for the rights of women, people with disabilities, LGBTQIA+ people, as well as ethnically and religiously diverse populations.
Since I first wrote this, it has been pointed out to me the concerns of people like Nurses, Doctors and other professionals who want to work for a Hospital or other faith-affiliated organisation. Would they be discriminated against of they were not married? Or if their own faith was of a different brand?
When I worked for Anglicare, I was an Anglican, former Parish Councillor of a large city church, and engaged. Part of my role was debriefing stressed staff. Did expressed concerns of losing their job because of relationships or sexuality, of having missed a promotion because they were not part of the church. I reassured them that Anglicare was not like that. Just before I left to join the Public Service, I realised they may have been legitimate concerns: I discovered to my disappointment that nepotism was indeed a factor in my own appointment.
The right to freely practise one’s faith must not supersede the rights of others to access essential services, or safely attend their workplaces or schools. The faith of one person should not impinge on the life of another.
I’ve been a church-goer on and off for most of my life. I’ve been involved with a number of parachurch organisations over the years.
I have known wonderful Christian community, and met thousands of Christians, as well as people of several other faiths: Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Daoists, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Baha’i, Atheists, and probably others who just didn’t discuss it with me. These people were happily practicing their religion in Australia.
I have also tasted discrimination from a University Lecturer who spoke of the evils of the church as though committed by every Christian.
As with rape, murder, domestic violence and all atrocities, it’s “not all”, but we must guard and educate against those that do commit atrocities.
We cannot assume that because some people use religion for good, that all people will.
What I have been seeing in churches (not all churches, thankfully!) in the last couple of decades is not Christian behaviour. It is more like the Hitler Youth version of “Christianity”. This very strange elitist heresy of earning one’s way to heaven through money, and deeds deemed “good”, judging and oppressing others is not Christian. It’s immature bitchiness at best, at worst it’s mental illness and cult behaviour.
This “power over” instead of welcoming, shared spaces is not Christian.
This “othering” is not Christian.
Neither is it the behaviour of ANY of the main religions, which are all about living peacefully and well, just with different details.
Neither is this Bill about protecting religious freedom, but instead it is about creating privilege for some at the expense of others.
This Bill would divide our society, creating an intolerant caste system, where, almost by definition, freedoms will be scarce. This is not a Bill for a healthy Multicultural society. This is a Bill to make Australia a third world country or ignorant bigotry and fear.
It is not good social policy. It does not promote social cohesion.
What can you do?
Read the information at the Primary Source: www.aph.gov.au (More links at the beginning of this article.)
Talk to people about the Bill and it’s consequences.
If you are Australian, I urge you to oppose the Religious Discrimination Bill, in the interests of a healthy society, where people continue to have the personal and religious freedom.
I remember joking about Sunday Drivers. They wear a hat, drive too slow, and don’t have any sense of urgency, generally holding up traffic. Mostly found on country roads.
A combination of multiple things, including a window of opportunity, a glorious 19°C Spring day and a terrible case of cabin fever led me to drive towards a nearby beach on a Sunday afternoon.
It was only as a car came up behind me on the highway, and I noticed I was driving 10km under the limit, looking around at the scenery, that the penny dropped: I was a Sunday Driver! The only thing missing was a hat! (I had actually contemplated wearing my sunhat, with the sunroof open!)
So it came to pass that I transitioned to a new Life Stage: Middle-Aged Sunday Driver.
I wasn’t driving to anywhere in particular, necessarily, but driving for the pleasure of driving. The pleasure of seeing new sights, of seeing the natural world in all its glory. The pleasure of being on my own in a safe and comfortable space. The pleasure of freedom.
This kind of driving has been a luxury for me. Petrol costs money, and for most of my life there have always been urgent things demanding my time and energy.
A series of events in my life have led me to decide that it is high time for me to have and do all those things I have always wanted to. Like be free.
Today, I was valuing myself. Placing my needs above others.
Possibly one of the factors contributing to my wanderlust was an article I read recently, about a Tasmanian woman and her daughters who drive by a die. They roll a die to determine where they go, what turns they take, what places they stop.
I have no interest in having chance determine my choices, but it did remind me that I had no pre-determined destination or agenda, and could make choices that suit me in the moment.
My original plan was to drive to a beach, about an hour away, and take photos. I have been sick recently, so was equipped with a face mask. Because I’m having joint pain, possibly as a side-effect of the cortico-steroids, and am still very fatigued, I had to reconsider.
My physical limitations meant that I did not feel up to driving that far. I made my goal smaller: I decided to run errands and get myself some lunch.
Coincidentally, I drove past a fortnightly International Food market. I had meant to go to that sometime, and had said a day or so earlier that I felt like Thai food. I found a park and went in.
Quite astonishingly, my lunch was free.
I arrived as the food stalls were closing. Initially the vendor told me that they didn’t have any left, then they checked and filled a container with what they had, and told me not to pay! When I looked at them in astonishment, she repeated: “No need to give me any money.”
Very kind, and unexpected. Presented to me with care and thoughtfulness, too.
A small and simple thing, but very much appreciated, especially as the previous vendor sold me only about 3/4 of a cup of tea and was weird about it. 🙄 Maybe it was my mask.
I meant to take a photo of the Thai food van, to give them recognition, but I forgot. They’re not listed on the web page. I did remember to take a photo of the food.
Thai food and Afghan spiced tea
The food was nourishing and gave me energy. The kindness added to my sense of well-being.
I actually felt like I now had more energy than before. Yay! Getting out of the house was absolutely the right choice.
An oasis of shade and fresh air in the middle of the city, and the sun shines
Something I’ve been doing for a few years is taking photos of plants and flowers. I like plants and flowers. I’ve grown a flowers from seeds at different times over the years. I’m a keen pot-plant Mum. The experience has added to my appreciation of the work of gardeners and horticulturalists everywhere. (I even dated a Horticulturalist in 2020.) I love the beauty of plants: their colours, shapes and sometimes smells. I’m inspired by their tenacity: they can grow in unlikely cracks and angles, clinging to the slightest possibility and climbing towards the light.
I often think of the Beth Nielsen Chapman song “Life Holds On” when I see a plant growing against the odds. (Han Solo: “Never tell me the odds!”)
So I took some photos of plants nearby to where I had lunch. There is a little Grove of Palms and other plants, forming a beautiful oasis. Most days, it’s where smokers congregate from the nearby Police and City Council buildings. Today it was smoke free and lovely.
A bright spot of happinessManferns are one of the layers making this sometimes dark spot more cheerful
I was pleased at the opportunity to take the photos, but too tired to check them now.
That’s OK. I have learned over many years of many illnesses to “follow the energy”, as my Uni Lecturer Cec Craft would say. I have also learned to prioritise, and both seize the opportunity and leave things for later.
So: I ran my errands. Nice feeling: having things checked off the list. Satisfying to feel prepared.
I considered several options for destinations after that: various coastal destinations, small country towns inland, the nearby Mountain.
I decided on a route along the river, across a bridge and back along the river.
Then I drove.
I missed the turn to the bridge. I remembered the woman and her die. I remembered that I was not obliged to follow any particular route. I could always drive that route another day.
So, while I would normally feel some stress and annoyance at the waste of petrol and time, and look for the next place to turn around, instead: I shook it off. I relaxed. I decided to see what unexpected adventure awaited.
I saw a turnoff to a place with a name that caught my attention, so I went there. I spent a short while there, and took photos of plants and scenery on the side of the road.
I returned to the main road and drove to a town which had a scenic lookout on top of a small mountain. It was great to be out in the fresh air and not to need to wear a mask.
I took a few photos but it was a bit disappointing, really. I guess I have become spoiled from my various other travels.
On the way back down, I noticed flowers on the side of the road, and stopped for more photos. These made me happier, and I stumbled across fields of flowers growing wild. So many different flowers, not all native, and all mixed together randomly. I was wondering about this when I realised I was at the edge of the local waste transfer station – likely the flowers had come from seeds in refuse.
How marvellous! Life Holds On.
That which was thrown away proliferated anyway, and made a beautiful, unexpected landscape.
The photos don’t really show the field of yellow flowers on the right and pink & white flowers in front, so I am feeling petulant about wanting a “proper” camera now.
A bit further down the road I had to jump a ditch of water to get to some flowering wattles. I’ve mentioned that I’m not in the best health. I didn’t quite make the jump and got mud on my shoes.
Never mind. I got my photos!
One of about 3 types of wattle I saw on this drive
I didn’t make the jump back either.
Back at the car, I got out the baby wipes that I now travel with, and cleaned my shoes and phone, which was splashed with mud on the jump back. The mud hadn’t soaked through, so there was no harm done at all.
By now, I was feeling particularly blessed and thankful for my preparedness.
Being so close to the town, I continued on, with no expectations of anything particularly photogenic, but still planning to get to the water.
I found signs to a marina, so went there. There was a damaged boat out of the water, complete with smashed windows and police tape. A rare opportunity for close-up photos of a few parts.
Poor abandoned vessel must have a story to tell!
This was also motivation for walking further than I planned. I needed some puffers after all this.
I couldn’t get a good photo of the boats on the water, so drove around to the other side of the pier to try again.
Walking towards the water, I noticed a solo Pelican swimming towards me eagerly. There were some people fishing at the end of a pontoon. I took some photos of the Pelican as it swam and turned its head. It was almost like it was posing, offering me different shots.
Again I felt privileged to be led to something worth seeing. The Pelican made me smile. There’s a short video here.
It also showed me that I really deserve a proper camera, as my phone didn’t have the power to take good resolution photos at that distance in late afternoon lighting.
The sun was setting.
I decided it was time to get something to eat and head home.
I had noticed a local pub nearby, so got my mask and handbag and went there. I got as far as the front door and checked in with the Tracing app, but it felt off, and I decided not to go in. I saw a cute little restaurant on the next corner, and almost went in, but by now had realised I should drive home before the light failed and there were animals on the road.
So I went to the supermarket and bought a salad and a travel cutlery kit. I washed the cutlery with the bottled water I carry in the car and again felt well prepared.
I put my bone conduction headphones on, which give me clear sound but still leave my ears to listen to driving /environmental sound, and put a recorded church service on my phone to listen to in the way back.
Then I drove home.
BUT
My adventure wasn’t quite done.
Outside of town a man was desperately flagging me down.
I’ve happily picked up hitchhikers since I’ve had a driving licence. Not always, especially when my children were small, but several times. I’ve never felt unsafe, and the hitchhikers were always pleasant and gracious. I would chat to them like I was getting to know someone at a social event.
This time I did not want to. It felt dangerous.
But: Here I was, burning fossil fuel, driving an empty car and listening to church.
Here was a person in failing light on a lonely road, unlikely to have many other opportunities, and a long, cold night’s walk ahead.
So of course I stopped.
I should have driven a bit further, because he was opening the door and getting in before I’d even finished clearing the seat!
It was an emotionally uncomfortable drive for me. My mask felt inadequate. I tried to be as polite as possible.
My passenger explained his antivaxx beliefs to me. He did not want to wear a mask.
I was again glad of my preparedness: I had bottles of drinking water in the car – a new thing for me to buy bottled water – and the speed at which he drank showed how badly he needed it.
My passenger said a lot of things, including that he suffered PTSD from his military service, and from following an order to kill that he didn’t agree with. That was entirely understandable.
He was going to the far end of the city, which was exactly on my way.
I didn’t even tell him my name, but tried (in vain) to suggest some resources that he might find helpful. Under ideal circumstances, I would have had a more therapeutic conversation to help him towards greater self-actualisation, but I was exhausted and in pain.
I was also wondering if I’d just exposed myself to new germs while in an immunocompromised state and about to have minor surgery.
Dropping him off was a relief. Getting home and into bed was an even bigger relief.
But: now I’m officially a Sunday Driver, I will very likely go for another drive on a Sunday.
Variations of this are a common, friendly conversation starter.
We ask our kids what they did at school so that they can tell us about the good and not so good things that happened. It makes us part of their lives. We give them the opportunity to process the experiences, and to develop strategies to deal with issues. It creates emotional and psychological bonds. It builds trust.
For adults attending evening social events, it is a similar opportunity to discuss with friends, much like the child discussed with their parents.
For some of us though, it feels (& may actually be) accusatory. Especially when it’s our critical selves doing the asking.
The person asking may resent what they think is our “easy” or “unproductive” lifestyle. Perhaps their own life is difficult. Perhaps they have impositions upon them, so they resent that they can’t see the same impositions on us.
Perhaps they are worried that people they care about aren’t doing what they did, so they may not have a “successful” life?
Or, they’re worried that they ARE doing what they did, so they may not have a “successful” life?
Maybe it’s FOMO (fear of missing out) because they’re not doing whatever you’re doing.
An enormous number of parents understand the difficulty of this. They may have done 1000 things in that day, so now they don’t remember half of them, but perhaps there is not an obvious “before” and “after” to demonstrate.
I’m guessing there is a similarly large number of teens and students who also know what I’m talking about.
Some self-employed people would know this feeling: What do I have to show for all those hours of productive work?
This is the case with many things. When I was managing a portfolio of Diversity Projects and Programs in the Public Service, it was rare that I had measurable outcomes on a daily basis. There were figures I could include in quarterly reports, but if you asked me “What have you done today?” I would have said: “Sent emails, talked on the phone and written things.” Most of what I did was part of an ongoing process.
Similarly, right now I am working on multiple projects of my own. What have I done today?
I created a Facebook Community in response to a thread about lonliness, and invited people from that thread. Will it become something? Who knows!
I started writing a cookbook, including the introduction and a recipe and planned a photo shoot of the dish.
Sneak peek: Chicken Turnover
I designed the cover, complete with colour scheme, brand and photo. Thanks Canva!
(On second thoughts, it’s a draft cover – I’ll very likely change some details when I’ve completed the book.)
The intention is for this to be an ebook, and connected to a blog I have as well as my fledgling startup design brand.
When will I get it finished? Not yet clear. Making a plan for that. Still making content choices.
Also: do I now need a separate blog for the cookbook(s) to be attached to? 🤔 An ongoing brand development decision, I think.
I did some thinking, planning and sketching for the aforementioned design brand – my cute idea that hasn’t yet had a paying customer, but which is morphing into a suite of connected products.
I did some research about some related things: skills, materials, tools.
I posted on Facebook, which is part of building and developing my personal brand, to build and develop my business brand.
Did any of this make me money? No, but it will once I’ve done the work to build the business. Who knew there was so much to do?
Then I wrote this blog post.This is my chat to my friends about my day. 😜
All of this was in a 7 hour block of time during which I forgot to have lunch or go to the bathroom. I must have been in a state of “flow” which is a very good thing.
What do other people think I did with my day?Probably: played with my phone.
“She’s on her phone all the time! She needs to find something to do!”
Do you relate to any of this?
If so, I hope you feel seen, understood, part of a great seething mass of humanity who spend their days labouring without recognition or reward.
Maybe we all need to build in our own “Rewards and Recognition” program, like workplaces have.
I know as a working single parent I rewarded myself with cups of tea and cake for achieving milestones.
Wait…I still do that!
Perhaps I need to make myself a sticker chart?No. That’s not it. I have intrinsic motivation.
What I really need is for people generally (and myself) to understand that just because YOU don’t see an outcome, does not make MY time a waste.
That feels better!
Tick in the box! I achieved something!
Now, back to my To Do list! The day’s not over yet!
(Oh! Better dash to the bathroom, and grab a drink first! 😬)
Some of my life has been quite “Forrest Gumpian”: I’ve just stumbled into situations with no idea they are a big deal.
Remember Forrest Gump? The titular character of a fictional movie about a man who led an extraordinary life with little idea of what he was doing. The movie was adapted from a book by Winston Groom, and the character was based on several real people, according to this article.
I was reminded of my similarity to Forrest recently when someone asked me if I was a professional singer, since I was singing to myself as I washed up at lunchtime.
When I said that no, I have sung with choirs and things, but I don’t like performing, she tried to press me to overcome what she appeared to perceive as anxiety.
This happens a lot.
People assume I have stage fright. I did in Primary School, but that was over 40 years ago. I’m not exactly a “veteran of the stage”, but I have performed music and spoken in front of people enough times for it to be generally not anxiety producing.
I am not afraid of performing. I am just a bit bored with it. I don’t crave the adoration of a crowd and never have. I’m uncomfortable with groupies.
I’m a mediocre musician. I’ve never been particularly rewarded for my musical performances – they were just a thing someone needed. A service provided. A joyful noise I was making.
I even played an electric organ with one hand as a teenager, at my small country church, when we had no other accompaniment available. It wasn’t ideal. It was just a thing that was needed at the time.
I have led a couple of different music groups, mostly in a church context. I have sung with multiple choirs. I have performed regularly (fortnightly?) in church services for a couple of hundred people 25-ish years ago. I have played flute with concert bands, orchestras, and several smaller ensembles.
One church (actually, the Pastor’s wife) invited me to travel to their church and sing solo. Due to my inexperience, I did so without adequate rehearsal and while having an asthma attack. My profuse apologies to the congregation. I haven’t been back!
I don’t have an ego which requires the adoration of a crowd. I’m not like the many performers I know who do. My soul is satisfied making a joyful noise. In fact, I was once in the wings of a professional concert, singing along to myself, when one of the performers was having a moment of self-doubt, telling me that I could sing better than she does (people get perceptions muddled during times of stress), and why wasn’t I on stage instead of her. I pointed out to her that I was just enjoying the music, I don’t bring the energy that audiences feed off like she does. She went on stage. She was great.
Back to my conversation in a work kitchen.
This person was pushing me about performing, and I pointed out that I have performed. I have performed in the room with the giant stained glass window at the National Gallery of Victoria in Melbourne as part of a huge choir. I also performed in the street at the Melbourne Fringe. Both of those were in the same year: the second part of 1997.
I don’t think she believed me.
Both of those performance opportunities were because someone asked me to come and watch them perform at the St Kilda Pub, and there were announcements. Someone invited people to join a mass community choir for an event. I joined that. A choir Director advertised a class, and I joined that class. One thing led to another.
I assumed that singing at these events was a normal thing for Melbourne people to do. I had no idea that it was difficult to be accepted into the classes run by this well-known performer. I had no idea this choir Director WAS a well-known performer! Because I had no idea, I was not intimidated. Because I didn’t even know it was possible to fail the audition, I didn’t.
Psychologists and Life Coaches encourage people to visualise themselves succeeding. I just assumed I would be singing with this group, because it was just a bit of fun, and I had sung with groups before. I had the basic skills. I wasn’t even conscious that I expected success. That’s the way to succeed: skills, self-belief and a willingness to “give it a go” in a cooperative way.
Now I realise that I was quite privileged. I was only IN Melbourne for 5 months, completing a student placement. I had the benefit of music lessons in high school from an excellent teacher, who taught me that I was mediocre, and that was OK. Most of the world is mediochre. It doesn’t need to stop you.
It’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time and seizing opportunities that seem interesting and fun, opportunities aligned with who I am and what I enjoy.
Forrest Gump just ran because he felt like it, and created a phenomenon
It probably helped that I was willing to strike up conversation with random people on the tram, and was a little too naive and trusting!
Being reminded of this impressed upon me to encourage everyone: put yourself in the right place at the right time, and to say “Yes!” to the opportunities that present themselves.
Develop your talents and interests. Attend things that seem interesting. Support other people in their interests. Listen to what people say. Do what feels right. Join in when it seems like a good idea.
Of course, not every opportunity means you will suddenly be doing things others have only dreamed of. Some opportunities fizzle out. Some opportunities are just ordinary. But more times than not, you will find things to do that make you happy. Do those things. Make memories.
Have stories to tell that no-one believes because they seem too amazing, but you know were just an ordinary day for you.
I once saw a quote: “Make your life worth loving.”
It’s accessed from the tiny town of Binalong Bay. The colder months are especially peaceful. It’s much busier in summer, when people come to enjoy the beautiful beaches. You can only get a phone/internet signal with a Telstra account, so it’s the perfect place to be out of phone range of all the usual demands.
Having travelled this path before, I can tell you that at the bottom there is a gravel road, and across that road is bushland, large rocks and a small beach with coarse sand.
It’s a path worth taking if those are the things you want to find.
Small parts of Skeleton Bay at dusk
Once you have climbed down such a path, the good thing is: you don’t have to wait for the light to return before you climb back up.
You know the pitfalls of the path – perhaps there was a patch of slippery leaves to avoid? You know to side-step them.
At the bottom of a path you came down, you can climb back up. Familiarity makes it easier.
You know where you are headed. You know how to get there. There’s no guesswork.
You don’t need to wait for a change in conditions.
Perhaps prepare yourself with a snack and hydration, but the main thing is to start.
Decide to climb.
Put one foot in front of the other.
If you need the handrail for support, then use it! That’s what it’s there for.
As Simmons says:
The steps you take don’t have to be big ones, they just have to be in the right direction.”
Dr Jemma Simmons, character in “Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD”
Perpsective is a word that is used often. Sometimes misused and overused.
It is still a very important concept.
If this post were used as a drinking game for every time the word “perspective” is used, I recommend softdrinks!
What a person sees literally depends on their perspective. How close are they to the object? How focussed are they on the object? What else is in their line of vision for comparison with other objects? What ideas do they have about the objects they are seeing which interpret what they see?
Take this pothole in the road, for example:
That’s one gigantic pothole in the road ahead
You may have some knowledge of potholes. You may know that driving through potholes can make the ride bumpy. Potholes that are deep enough can strain the axle of a wheel driven into it, to the point of breaking. A vehicle with a broken axle can’t go anywhere. Mending a broken axle is a major repair and would be expensive, including towing the vehicle to a mechanic. Contacting a tow-truck from here and convincing them to drive into the bush might be difficult, and how will they even find you?
That pothole may deter you, and you may decide to go the other way, because this way seems too dangerous: maybe you’ll break an axle if you drive into such a large, deep pothole and be stuck here!
The other way looks so much easier!
Alternative route: not a pothole in sight!
Perspective can trick you. Changing your perspective can make a difference.
Used incorrectly, but commonly, people may say “Get some Perspective!”. In this instance, building on your perspective can change your understanding of what you see.
You might measure the pothole: is it wider than a wheel? Put a stick in it to see how deep it actually is. This might confirm or refute your idea that the pothole is big and deep enough to cause axle damage.
Importantly, you could measure what is AROUND the pothole: the remaining road. Is there enough space to drive around the pothole and not even encounter it?
Look around you and take inventory (like they do in a crisis on SciFi shows): what skills and knowledge do you have that can help you overcome this obstacle? What can you use from the environment? Who can you ask? What other ways can you tackle it?
Maybe you can fill in the pothole, or place wood over it?
Expandig your view beyond the pothole can give you a better perspective.
With a different, more informed perspective, you may see that pothole as less of an issue.
Now that you are not focused solely on the pothole, you see that it’s more of a small inconvenience. Something to be taken into account and worked around, but not actually an impediment to your progress.
In a similar way, you can analyse any obstacle in your life. Facing the obstacle head on and measuring it, as well as measuring what is around it, can help you see the problem for what it really is.
Taking inventory of the skills, strengths and resources you have can help you assess how best to tackle the obstacle: go around it, turn and find another way, or just go straight on because it’s not that big an obstacle anyway!
(Photograph mine, of Macquarie Heads Rd, Strahan, Tasmania)
“Perspective” might be an annoying word, but it’s an important thing to remember, on country roads, and also in life.
There’s a wide open road in front of you.
Do you want to find out where it leads? “Get some perspective” and go for it!
I went to dinner with a group of people tonight. I had met most of these people before, some of them 25 to 30 years ago. Suddenly I discover they all know each other! That, in itself, seems remarkable to me. Synchronicity, perhaps? Some may say God’s Divine workings.
This dinner was at a home that I hadn’t been to before. It’s in a suburb bordering some semi-rural bushland.
After a pleasant dinner and conversation, exploring ideas and getting to know a few more people, it was time to go home.
I didn’t bother to Google map my way home, because it had turned out to be quite simple to drive there, and all I needed to do to get back to the main road where I couldn’t go wrong, was go back the way I came.
Well! Perhaps predictably, I missed a turn in the dark, and started to think that this was taking longer than expected when the road I was driving on turned to gravel. Oops!
I stopped the car, possibly to the relief of the possum meandering about in the middle of the road and staring at my headlights.
I retrieved my phone from the boot and plugged my preferred destination into the map. To my relief, I was more than halfway down this road, which connected to the main road.
All I had to do was keep going.
So I did.
There was a waxing moon, so: almost full, giving quite a bit of light in the cloudless sky.
As I drove this slightly curved gravel road I was suddenly stunned to see a deer in the road. Presumably adult, with huge antlers.
People in some parts of the world will be wondering why this is strange, but there are very few deer where I live. They are not native. There has not been much opportunity for them to run wild. There are some deer farms, but not in this vicinity, to my knowledge.
In surprise and with caution I took my foot off the accelerator and started to slow. This deer was majestic! Cliché or not, it was true!
It was more impressive than this deer, perhaps because of the awareness of each other. Photo by George F on Pexels.com
This deer had some experience of cars, because it looked like a child who has been caught out of bed and self-consciously bolts for their bedroom. The deer, with an awkward set to it’s head, almost as if it wanted to call out “I can be here too!” but thought it better of it, half walked, half cantered off the road and into the bush.
It may have been the first deer I have seen in real life? I’m not sure. I felt privileged to see it. It’s now clearer to me why they are creatures endowed with both strength and dignity in mythology.
Once the deer had gone, I drove on more slowly, hoping to see another one, or other animals out enjoying the evening. I saw a happy hare leap away from the road to safety, and that was all.
Yet: I was so thankful for this unexpected turn of events. I had driven through quiet, peaceful bushland on a remarkably smooth packed gravel road, with trees either side forming a picturesque moonlight guard.
It was peace that had been lacking in my day so far. Blissful.
I felt blessed. Undeservedly, randomly blessed.
I reached the main road and had a completely uneventful drive home. Somehow I arrived at the traffic lights in time for them all to be synchronised along the way.
Sometimes an unexpected turn is anything but wrong!
musingsofamiddleagedmother 